Intoxicated, Inebriated... I

For those who have never been intoxicated in life, its a pity.
They are missing probably the best experience, the best feeling in life...
One would argue, that sex is the best experience, best feeling in life
well.. now one has 2 best experiences to look forward to.

God... likes to have fun.. he loves to have a hearty laugh.
I'll tell you how... First, he designed the most complex
machine ever known.. the brain. And for some weird reason, that only HE
knows, HE decided to cross wire the brain. The Left side of our brain controls
the right side of our body, and the right side of our brain controls the left
side of body.

Now he could have made it simple.. left controls left and right controls right..
but then remember HE likes to have fun :-) After cross wiring our brains, He makes
man find alcohol. And then... he sits back and enjoys..

I.. I like alcohol.. I like vodka.. after a long hard week at work, i look forward
to vodka.. 1 large peg, with sprite and 3 cubes ice.. always my first drink.

Within a fraction of a second after my tongue tastes the vodka, my tongue tells
Mr.Left Side Brain ( LSB ) & Mr.Right Side Brain (RSB) .. " Oh oh! You guys are
in trouble. I have warned you vodka's on the way."

After a few pegs down, and due to HIS cross wiring, it takes time for the signals
from the eyes to reach the brain.. and as a result, Mr.LSB & Mr.RSB lose their
perfect co-ordination.

HE announces "Let the fun begin".

So, i ask for one more peg of vodka. In a few minutes i see it been placed in front of me.
Now the task is pretty simple, pick up the glass with my right hand, get it up to my lips,
and take a sip. Mr.LSB is in control of my right hand, but he needs inputs from both the
eyes to achieve the task.

Mr.LSB to Mr.RSB " Lil help here mate,Tell me what you see"
Mr.RSB to Mr.LSB "You almost there. lil ahead.. noo.. u went a lil too ahead. come back.. yea yea.
a lil more.. now a lil more to the left. careful not much else u'll drop the glass"

Now u know why u see me struggling so much to pick up the glass. And its still not over.
Now the right hand has just got hold of it. It needs to get the glass up to my lips.
I need to open my lips at the right time and take the right sip.

"OK. LSB.. u did well there.. now help me lil more.. i need to get this up. OK here we go"
"Easy.. u going too much to the right.. move left.. yea.. now up.. we almost there.."

My lips open, sip taken..
Mr.LSB & Mr.RSB chorus: "Ahhhhh!!"

In all of this, a whiff of a feminine fragrance reaches my nose. He gets up with a jolt !
"Who's there? I smell you.. I smell you."

Mr.Nose to LSB & RSB: "Do u guys see anything ? "
LSB & RSB to Mr.Nose: " Hold on, let me check"
LSB & RSB to Mr.Eyes: "Do u guys see anything ? "

This is when u see me rolling my eyes.. almost independently.

Mr.Eyes to LSB & RSB: "Negative on that!"
LSB & RSB to Mr.Nose: "Naa, nothing yet. Mr.Nose. U need to give us some more pointers"
Mr.Nose to LSB & RSB: "Yea ok, working on it"

Sniff Sniff.. Sniff Sniff.

A few seconds later "Its coming from the right side somewhere."
Mr.LSB is about to swing into action to move my neck to the right, just about then
Mr.RSB thinks he heard Mr.Nose say "right".
Mr.RSB thinks nose is telling him to get to work.
Mr.RSB swings into action and my neck moves to the left as a result instead of right.
Mr.Nose : "No!! you idiots.. not this way.. now its on the left".
Mr.RSB and Mr.LSB are totally confused now.
RSB says "To hell with this, I am going in."
As a result i turn around 270 degrees and find her standing right in front of me.

Mr.Eyes to Brain " Got her! Got her!" .
Mr.Nose goes: Sniff Sniff
Mr.LSB & Mr.RSB: Look straight at her

"Wooooww ! " they all go at the same time.
My lips are about to open and say "Hello" and just then she turns away.

My.Eyes to Mr.LSB and Mr.RSB: "Target changing course!"
Luckily both of them react fast and go "Abort Abort Abort!!"

My Lips "H....."

Mr.Eyes, Mr.LSB & Mr.RSB: "Whew.. that was close guys"
Mr.Nose: "Sniff Sniff, I still smell her"

Mr.Eyes, Mr.LSB & Mr.RSB:"Hmmmmmmmmm!"


Now all of us re-grouped and all attention is at taking the next sip.
The peg is over and its time to pee !!

Mr.Right Leg: "Ok, fellas.. lets get going. else i am gonna get wet here. and you gonna
be in trouble".

LSB & RSB: "Alright Alright".

Now with the utmost concentration and co-ordination between LSB, RSB , Mr.Eyes and Mr.Legs
and thru some highly skilful navigation and a lot of Sniffs from Mr.Nose we all manage to reach
the loo safely.

"woooo hoooo. We made it"

"Guys. I gotta release nooowww !! "
LSB & RSB: "Got it little fella. We just about there, i think".
"Guys, come on hurry up. I cant wait any longer."
"OK, here we are."

RSB and LSB to Mr.Eyes.. "whats wrong with you. Cant u see the god damn pot. Just get right in front
of it."

RSB and LSB to Mr.Hands: "Ok guys. we aligned now."
RSB and LSB to Lil fella: "Go! Go! Go!"
Lil Fella "wheeeeheeeee"
Mr.Left Eye to Mr.Right Eye: " Do u see what i see?"
Mr.Right Eye to Mr.Left Eye: " Yea! we missed!"

Mr.Right Eye & Mr.Left Eye to RSB & LSB " We missed! We missed!"

LSB & RSB:" SHit !! Abort Abort Abort"
Lil fella: "weeeeheeeeeeee"
LSB & RSB to lil fella: "Damn you! Abort"
LSB & RSB:" SHit !! SHit! Shit !"

LSB & RSB to Mr.Eyes " You idiots. Cant u do one thing right !!"
LSB & RSB: "Mr.Ears you there ?"
Mr.Ears: " You called me?"
LSB & RSB: "Yea we need you. You know where we are?"

Just then "fluuuussshhh"

Mr.Ears to RSB & LSB:" Oh!! Now i know where we are. Mr.Eyes missed again eh ?"
lil fella "weeeheee"
LSB & RSB to Mr.Ears: " Hurry up!"

Mr.Left ear to LSB: " Keep moving slowly"
So i am moving slowly to the right.

Suddenly "Splatteeerr"

Mr.Ears to LSB: "Stop!! we going out of range. We missed the pot and the water"
Mr.Ears to RSB: "Move Move Move"

Now i am moving to the left and fast.

"Drrrrrrrrrr"

Mr.Ears to RSB: "Stop Stop. We there! We there!"
Mr.Eyes to LSB & RSB: " Acknowledge! We there.. we hitting the water."
Lil fella "weeeeeeeeeeeheeeeeeeeeeeee"

LSB & RSB to Mr.Ears: " Thanks for rescuing us... Again!"
Mr.Ears to LSB & RSB: "No problem fellas! See you around !"

fluuuuuusssssssssshhhhhh !!